I learned today in Church, that Mother Teresa referred to “dark nights of the soul” in her memoirs. This was fascinating to me. According to my Pastor, she had bouts of spiritual doubt, frustration, and inner turmoil that the world was not necessarily privy to.
Traditionally, “dark nights of the soul” are known in the Christian community as periods of intense depression and confusion. I have experienced these myself, and can only say, if she experienced anything near what I did, it was a period of intense sorrow and dismay, when one feels mentally and spiritually lost.
I am not sure why it surprised me so. As Pastor pointed out, is it any wonder that after looking into the faces of those deeply suffering, she would have cause for spiritual doubt and confusion? Is it any wonder, that she felt, where is God in all this? Is it any wonder, that, according to her memoir, she even asked herself if there was even a God at all? Did the enormous pressure to “fix” the situation for the thousands suffering, when she was but one person, bring her down?
I have always felt inspired by Mother (now Saint) Teresa. There never seemed to be anything further that could possibly cause me to look up to her even more…..Knowing, however, that she found her faith and God and an immense love and gift for humanity, in spite of the depression, the dark night of the soul, what have you…
Now there is even more cause for joy…
There is reason to believe, that not only can things get better, after depression….
Things can get miraculous!
In honor of the canonization of Saint Teresa of Calcutta, 9/4/16
Special thanks to Pastor James Proffitt!